I'm not making this up

So today I had a consultation with a dietician as part of my fat-loss program. Part of my program requirements is that I document every calorie I consume. To help me determine the caloric value of foods, I now possess a book (by "Calorie King") packed full of this type of information. Did you know that a 4 oz roasted snake has 160 calories.? 1 Tbsp of ants, eggs, and larvae are a deal at only 20 calories and no fat. Yum. 2 oz of canned caterpillars are 60 calories. Lunch time in the office is going to take on a whole new dimension.

diet contest update

It is now established that I will not win the prize money for the mid-way pointof the biggest loser contest. Despite getting up early to walk and jog before work most days, and having been on an exercise binge all week-end (32 mile bike ride and 5 hours of kayaking) and not pigging out for the past 2 months, I only lost 1.8 percent fat at my latest body composition test. My results still put me in the "excess fat" category. My wonderful husband lost 4.4 percent fat, despite admitting that he has been sneaking PayDay bars. What makes it even more difficult to accept is that I lost 2.5 lbs of muscle (not good) while he lost only 0.4 lbs. This is despite the fact that I improvised a weight lifting system for exercise at work. It is disguised as junk we would have around the office anyway, so the person known as "Boss" won't suspect anything. At least I didn't burst into tears when I received my results, like one lady did. Apparently, her husband also did much better than she did.

What happened next is that I admitted I needed help, which is what they always say is the first step to recovery. For an additional fee, I will have my metabolic rate tested and a dietician will tell me exactly what I need to eat. It seems I have no clue about nutrition. At least I don't have to stand up in front of a group and say "Hi, I'm Kia and I'm a snack-a-holic".

today's random rants

My boss says I'm "bitching" when I try to express my observations at work. So, instead, I'll channel it here...

1. It's the Republicans' fault that I'm fat. The Republican governor changed us to daylight savings time so it's dark until later in the morning so I don't have time to run. Then when I get home, it's too hot to run (global warming, again the Republicans' fault).

2. If you have a sign on your car advertising a cleaning service, don't throw cigarette butts out the window! How do I know you won't throw them in my driveway?

3. I will NEVER buy a car from any dealer that has commercials where someone yells. Or wears funny hats. Or has annoying sound effects.

Biggest Loser diet contest

It's almost half-way through on the local edition of the biggest loser. Next Monday, I will have my weight and bodyfat checked again. The half-way point winner will be announced on Saturday and will win $500. Do I expect to win? Not exactly. After 2 months, I have lost somewhere between 8 and 12 lbs, depending on how much salt I've eaten the day before. The Biiggest Loser contest on TV shows people losing 20 and 30 lbs in ONE WEEK. I don't lose that many ounces in one week.